Erv's Memorial Service

I sit at my keyboard tonight and I feel drained. Drained of energy, and drained of emotion. It was a day of highs and lows. It was a day I was looking forward to and a day I was dreading. I was not sure what to expect when we entered the church today for Erv Doerksen's Memorial Service. It is one of those things that you can only take as it comes. As we were ushered to the front of the church, I found it bittersweet to see Erv's kayak and boots displayed front and centre, in the midst of a beautiful floral display created by Erv's good friend Jan Martens, one of our Care Group members. Jan knew Erv longer than any of us, even before he married Delores.

One is remembered by what his interests were and by the people he touched during his lifetime. And so we were reminded that Erv was an avid adventurer and outdoors man, and a man who loved Jazz and The Blues. The service was predominantly a recitation of memories of Erv, starting with his two sisters Laurene and Valerie. It was a warm, humorous and emotional journey they took us on as they recounted Erv's early life, born in Alberta and then moving to Ontario before his adventures "out west" began. I was laughing one moment, crying the next as the ladies poured out their admiration and love for their big brother. I have heard so many stories of Erv's life but never in chronological order like this. It made more sense this way and gave me an insight as to how he became the man that he was.

Then Ernie, Erv's "forever buddy" gave a long dialogue about Erv's adventures and his characteristics of friendship. I could have listened to that man all day. He gave a very intelligent and articulate account of his friendship with Erv and as he was speaking I said to myself over and over that what he was saying was so true, and yet I could never have put it quite like that. I could see why he and Erv were such good friends for all their lives. They are similar in many ways, on the same wave length, one might say. Erv had spoken to me of Ernie several times, but I had never met him.

In the program, there was a tribute given to the company that Erv worked for. They were described as "the best company in the world". That is high praise! When the president of the company stepped to the podium and spoke of Erv, I came to understand why that accolade was given. Jay Campbell gave an impassioned account of how he met Erv, how Erv impacted him, and how Erv also impacted the company for the better. In a personal chat with him later, he recounted how Erv was such a large part of their success. He was the second driver from outside the family that they hired and it was the best thing they ever did. Erv was known throughout the company simply as #1. Jay told us all the employees and drivers would be wearing lapel pins henceforth, as a tribute to Erv, with #1 imprinted on them. They will also be naming a lane into the property 'Erv Doerksen Way'. They just recently gave a donation to the Children's Hospital in Erv's name. How wonderful to see a large successful company give such accolades to one of its employees.

It was then time for Erv's kids to take the podium. His son, daughter, their spouses, and their children stood by as Peter, the son, spoke for them all. What a difficult task, but so well done. Peter has large shoes to fill, but I can see that happening. During the slide show of Erv's life, there were some photos of a young Erv when I was sure I was seeing Peter. Peter's wife Sherena, a wonderful photographer, put the photos together and did a masterful job. Later during the reception, the slide show was playing and it was difficult to take one's eyes off of it. I discovered later that she had help from Ian, Erv's kayaking buddy and sometime member of our Care Group. Ian's passion is also photography and you can see some of his work from the link on the sidebar of this blog.

Our Pastor Vic tried to make sense of Erv's death by giving us a few word pictures which for me, at least, were helpful. Heidi, another one of our Care Group, played flute, as only she can, as the guests were dismissed and ushered to the reception. It was there that I connected with many people, some I had not seen for many years, but we all had Erv in common. Again there were tears shed, but also some laughter as we recounted stories.

I really had no idea that Erv had impacted so many lives. Some would have said that he had missed his calling, that he should have been a teacher, or a pastor, or an academic, but I can see that he did not miss his calling at all. We spoke of that on the beach in Mexico not long ago. He told me that he had not pursued goals and dreams but found it an adventure to take life as it comes and make the best of it. It had been a great lesson to me that no matter who we are or what we do, we can make our lives count. The faith that he lived out in such practical terms touched everyone he met. He was authentic and as Jay, his boss said, virtuous, and in such a consistent way, that everyone at his memorial felt exactly the same way about him.

Will they say that about me some day? I have learned something valuable from my friend Erv both from his life and in his death.

What now remains is a trip to the location where Erv took his last breath, a gathering of some of his good guy friends to reminisce and share stories, and of course, to help Delores in what ever way we can to re-invent her life. We will wait for time to heal the wounds and the hurting hearts, and as that happens, we will always recall, with a smile on our lips, our good friend, Erv. His constant theme in life was joy, so we can do no less.