I've Been Kindled

No, it's not anything to do with fire starting. It is an e reader for those of you who have been hiding under a rock during the unprecedented advancements in hand held electronic devices.

For the first time in many years, I could actually think of something other than a Corvette when my kids asked me if I wanted anything for Christmas. I am an avid reader and my eyesight is deteriorating so I thought one of these devices might kill two birds with one stone.

I have to say that it meets my expectations. The font is adjustable and the script is very clear and well defined. Because it is on a flat screen, my eyes are not doing the minute adjustment for distance like they do in a book with a curved surface as it sits in the hands. It is not back lit like a computer screen so there is no eye strain.

It can hold more books than I will read in the rest of my life and I can load them directly onto the Kindle because it is wi-fi. Imagine bringing a half dozen good books on a vacation all wrapped up in a wafer thin device with incredible re-chargeable battery life. I completed my first book, read from my Kindle, (The Hunger Games) and I am already convinced that I will not miss holding an actual book in my hands.

And the Corvette? They tell me I would have received one already had they been able to get it under the Christmas Tree. I believe them because I taught my children not to lie.    

At The Cellular Level

All this new technology is driving me nuts. I could have said "No" but the offer was too good to turn down. I have had my LG cell phone for three years and I still am not able to text with it nor download photos. I have never been on the Internet with it and have just used it as a business phone. I got  a call from my service provider wanting to sell me data packages etc. etc. etc. Not interested. Then they offered me a free up-grade as well as grandfathering my very old and very economical plan if I signed on for another three years. I have never been dissatisfied with the network and actually find that it works rather well. I have no plans to change providers so a free phone was a no brainer. I am now the proud (?) owner of a Samsung C414 flip phone. I struggled all evening getting the settings right and trying to figure out how to get my SIM card out of the old phone and into the new one.

Like all new 'stuff', there is a learning curve. I just hope I do not miss any important calls because I have the phone on silent mode by mistake, or have the darn thing play Beethoven's 5th in the middle of church because I thought I had it on silent mode. No guarantees though because I have already taken a goofy photo by mistake. Good thing I do not know how to download it to this blog. It is not very flattering.   

Back in the Saddle

'Back in the saddle' refers to getting back to work, and is a rather old expression from the days when work was actually done from the back of a horse. My 'saddle' is not work but one of the things I do regularly and enjoy, and that is my life on the computer. My old Gateway had a massive technological event which resulted in a very negative downside. Being the heartless fellow that I am, I packed it in a box and will be rid of it soon. Of course, I kept its heart and soul, stored on an external hard drive, and breathed new life into a new HP Pavillion desk top PC. It is an ordeal to get a new system up and running, but I think we have accomplished that with most of the settings in order and all programs in place and operating smoothly. I am quite pleased that I am, for the first time in my life, on the leading edge of things techie. The computer I purchased was in the store only two days and I was the first to purchase one of these new generation monster machines. It has more speed than a bullet, twice as many processors as all my other computers put together, and more memory than a herd of elephants. And did I mention that it is wireless? No more hard wired cable connection! Now I can carry the tower, the monitor, the keyboard, the speakers, (including the big floor mounted woofer) and the mouse around the house with me, with twenty five miles of tangled cables and cords dragging behind me, shedding dust bunnies in its wake. And with an additional twenty five feet of extension cord and a multi octopus plug outlet, I can sit in the backyard and compute on my lawn chair. But, maybe not. I don't think it is waterproof. 

X-ray Vision

Due to the explicit nature of the image, I took the liberty of blacking out the 'boobies' :)

When I was an adolescent, I was intrigued by the comic book Superman's powers of x-ray vision. I must admit that it still intrigues me. Fiction has become reality and it is causing a backlash in the airports of the world where this technology is being used. Recently, a brave young man refused the scan, and then balked at being patted down. He exclaimed that if it was not the government touching his privates, it would be 'sexual assault". Of course, he is right. This puts the authorities in a dilemma. As you can see from the above actual x-ray airport body scans, it is a clear invasion of privacy. What will be the next step in the fight against terrorism? There are many options, but none of them are politically correct. I would say that this one is not either.  

Hand Held

The term 'hand held device' has come to mean any electronic device that aids in communication with other electronic devices. The permutations of this are endless. I will not even begin to name them because as soon as I do, the list will be outdated and any number of the devices on my list will be obsolete. It seems that the time that it takes to replace the latest device that was just purchased, with a newer better model, is about ten minutes.

I'm sorry, but I just cannot keep up. My cell phone was one of the first ones with a QWERTY keyboard built in and I must admit that I have never used it, except one time to unsuccessfully create and send a text message. No, I was not driving at the time.

It is difficult to believe how many people are wandering around in a daze with their ear buds in and their little fingers jabbing away at a 'hand held device', often communicating with the person walking beside them. The spoken language will soon be a lost art. The written language too, for that matter. In an attempt to simplify the text messages, there is a language with code words and abbreviations that one has to learn besides learning how to operate the device. 

They keep getting smaller too. When I attempt to hit the keypad on my phone, I usually hit the wrong number or two numbers at the same time. The problem with this is that I do not know how to 'back it up' so I can undo the mistake. I just re-boot and try again until I get it right. 

I think back to the first phone I ever operated. You picked up the receiver, cranked the handle one time, an operator came on, and you told her who you wanted to speak to. No, it was not cordless, but it was 'hand held', just like today. 

Does it Get Better?

I like to wake up to radio as opposed to an alarm clock. The transition from sleep to awareness is more gentle and gets my day off to a better start. The question then becomes, what do I wake to? Music is the best, however, it tends to lull me back to sleep or encourages me to stay in bed until the song is over, by which time I am too sleepy and unmotivated to vacate the warmth of the covers. What seems to work best for me is a newscast at the top of the hour, such as CKNW news talk radio's major news to 7 am. I become alert immediately because I do not want to miss the lead story. This forces my mind out of its groggy state and I am then ready to get 'up and at it'.

There is one problem and it is getting worse with time. Local radio reception is deteriorating. I do not know the cause for this, but I do know that often my choice of stations makes for something worse than a harsh alarm at 7 am, and that is static. I then wake up grouchy.

The easy solution came to me one day as I as perusing the latest MasterCard Awards Points merchandise catalogue. They were offering an Internet radio for only around 30,000 points. I had that and some to spare so I ordered it and it arrived yesterday.

It works on WiFi, which we already have because we have 3 computers in our house all working off one router. This Radio picks up that same signal and gives me access to literally thousands of streaming stations from around the world.

There is a bit of a learning curve but I think I have it now and the big challenge is to find 8 favourite stations to put into the 8 preset buttons. Now I can wake or fall asleep to Afghan 103.1 or Clear Jazz from Paris. It would take me a month to scroll through every station and they are adding new ones everyday. In fact, I can go to the website and request one that I like, that is not on the scroll list.

Static is a thing of the past as of today. Funny, but I already do not miss it.

On Losing my Memory

McClure Road westbound,

McClure Road eastbound.

My mother used to love touring show homes, whether in a new sub-division, townhouse complex, or condominium high rise. For her, one of the primary considerations was how much storage space there was. She was not what I would call a pack rat, but she just needed room for her stuff. We all have stuff, and we all need a space to store it. I have seen many homes where the expensive vehicles are parked outside, in the elements, not in the two or three car garage. The reason is, the garage is full of stuff. Fast forward to our technical age and take note of all the electronic gadgets and devices we own and sometimes use. The primary consideration seems to be the amount of storage on the device. I recently purchased a 500 GB external hard drive, simply because the 250 GB hard drive built into my computer was inadequate. Cell phones, digital cameras, iPods, and all the other devices are advertised as to how much stuff you can store. Certainly a tiny memory stick, or HD card will take up much less space than an extra closet in the bedroom, but I am finding that like a stuffed closet, a full memory device is just as difficult to find your stuff in. And just try misplacing that memory card. It is as traumatic as misplacing your three car garage.

Cell Phones

Cell phones have been in the news a lot lately. We are on the verge of seeing new laws regarding the use of cell phones while driving. I have seen and experienced enough to know that it can be dangerous driving and using one at the same time, especially for texting. How can anyone even do that?
On Tuesday, some interesting stats came out regarding the cost of cell phones in Canada. Only the USA and Spain pay higher rates in all the world for using their wireless devices. Users in Finland, The Netherlands, and Sweden pay the least. In terms of penetration of wireless devices, Canada comes dead last, which surprises me. Does it not seem that everyone, everywhere has a cell phone pasted to their ear at all times? Not so. There are only 67 cell phones for every 100 people in Canada compared to an average of 100% in every other country. As I was wondering why, because Canada ranks pretty high in high speed Internet connectivity, I continued reading and here is the answer. Canada has the lowest land line phone rates of every country in the study. So, higher cost for Cell phones and lower costs for land lines result in us Canadians just being prudent with our hard earned dollars. If you call me, please do it on my land line.

I Fit in There Somewhere

The following are a number of transcribed conversations to technical support departments:
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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Christine says: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No , wait a minute.. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk.. Sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and --. Customer: Listen pal, don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer.' I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah.....................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies..
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer:! OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape.Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer:
Tech support: Are you running it under Windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
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And last, but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Mickey, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P " to bring up the Program Manager." Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

Man on the Moon

Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of the incredible feat that rocked the world. Above is a photo of Buzz Aldrin as taken by Neil Armstrong, both standing on the moon! This event marked a culmination of a fierce space race between the Russians and the Americans. Russia sent the first man into space, Yuri Gargarin, but the USA could redeem themselves by getting to the moon first. Every Gemini space flight had been a near disaster, and it was quite miraculous how the technology and good fortune came together to pull off this amazing feat.
I remember the day well. There had been mounting excitement over the possibility that this just might happen, but so many factors had to come together. As today, weather was key to when the rockets could lift off. At last the flight was under way, and then the tension mounted as first the space craft had to get out of the earth's gravitaional pull. Then it had to orbit the moon, while the lunar lander had to swoop down to the moon's surface and actually pull off a landing. The 'Eagle' was manually flown when the landing sight looked too rugged and with only 16 seconds of fuel left, a suitable bench of land was selected. Touchdown, and then the first step of a man on the moon was incredible history in the making.
I remember being with a friend that night as we pulled off the road and turned off the headlights. We were out in the country and there was no light pollution as we gazed at the moon, visible above the horizon, and marvelled that we were looking at men on the moon, but could not see them. If man could acheive this astounding feat, what was next?
And yet today, there are many who believe the whole thing was shot in a NASA movie studio. A recent poll in both Russia and Great Britain shows that fully 25% of people do not think the moon mission was real. There have been people dedicating their lives to debunk the feat. The astronauts themselves have been stalked and hassled many times. In the near future, NASA is sending a lunar orbiter that will take very high resolution photos and hope to capture the lunar lander 'on film'. But this will not satisfy the detractors, as they will say that the photos will have been manipulated, and of course this is very possible.
So you be the judge. Personally, I believe it, not because I can prove it, but because I want to.

I Have Arrived

As an enticement to renew my cell phone contract, Roger's offered me a no-charge state of the art LG Neon TE365. This little puppy does everything but toast bagels, at least not the way I like them. You've seen them everywhere, those teen aged girls texting furiously with their cell phones, totally oblivious to their surroundings. I can now join them as this machine is designed for texting with its pull-out full 'qwerty' keyboard. What I really wanted was a phone that I could call out on and a phone that would ring when someone was calling me. No such thing out there. I suppose FM radio, Bluetooth, MP3, Internet, email, camera both still and video (2 mega pixel) are such necessities these days that all phones have them. I do believe that it will take me the full three years of the contract to learn all the ins and outs of this 'phone' and by that time, there will be some other new technology out there that will make this TE365 'stone age'. Meanwhile, I will pretend to know what I am doing with this one and hope that nobody notices that I do not even have it turned on. I hope by Christmas I will have figured how to at least do that.