Healing

I can be doing the most routine things when suddenly and unexpectedly, it hits me. For example, this morning, while singing in church, I was suddenly, struck with a wave of sadness as I looked to my left, to the spot where I would see Erv and Delores, if his work schedule allowed him to attend the Sunday morning service. It struck me that he would never be there again. He would never listen intently to the sermon with the thought in mind that we would all be discussing it later in the day during our Sunday evening meeting. Never. The finality is what strikes me. Would we have known the future, we could have savoured the last moments, but as it turned out, the last moments were just what they always were. 

How does one go through life treasuring every moment as if it were the last? One hears of this from those who have had a near death experience. One's perspective and priorities are changed dramatically and forever. Can a person function with a renewed perspective like this? I believe we must say yes to that question. Having a renewed gratitude for life itself, is life changing. Treasuring the small blessings in life makes a person fun to be with as nobody likes a person with a continued negative attitude. Loving those around you as though they might be taken from you at any time would have a profound effect on relationships, for the good. 

I have lost friends over the years, but none have had the effect on me that Erv's loss has had. I honestly think I speak for many others too when I say that, and in that, I can find consolation and even a reason for his death. I am beginning to see some changes being brought about and it is comforting to know that one can influence others in life and in death. It gives meaning to the fact that loved ones are sometimes taken tragically and suddenly and with no apparent immediate reason. 

It is said that time heals and it is true. Those that are left, process the new reality, and other thoughts eventually fill in where only grief lived before. But also, it becomes apparent with time, that there is a reason for everything. God does not make mistakes, nor is he surprised by anything, but it often takes Him a long time to convince us that He knows what He is doing. We are slow learners. And in understanding, and finding a reason, comes healing.