Standing Room Only

This photo does not begin to do justice to the following story.



When I get a call for work, rarely is the person I am talking to not a complete stranger. I glean what I can from the call, the person's voice, a little bit about the nature of the job, and a phone number with address so I can visit the site, give advice and a free estimate of the work required. It is always an adventure driving up to the address, ringing the doorbell, and seeing the customer face to face for the first time. I am often surprised at the age of the person as it is very difficult to tell by a voice over the phone.

But, beyond that, I never know what kind of home I am about to enter. About a week ago I was greeted at the door of a condo on the third floor of a building I was totally unfamiliar with. She was a single lady in her fifties, short, plump, thick glasses, and looking very nervous. When I had spoken with her on the phone, I remember having had a difficult time understanding her. Not only did she have some sort of strange accent, but she phrased her sentences in an unusual way. I was expecting to see an Oriental lady, or maybe someone from the Middle East.

I was able to eliminate Oriental immediately. I knew I would eventually ask her where she was originally from, that is, if it did not come up in conversation.

She bid me come in and promptly backed up to make room for me. The aromas from her cooking breakfast hit me but otherwise the place smelled clean. I took one glance from the tiny entry and was able to survey the kitchen, the dining room, and the adjoining living room. It was a sea of clutter. There was a tiny space in which the two of us stood while she rambled on and on about her decorating ideas.

"This is how all my ideas started" she said as she pointed to the kitchen and the three blenders and two food processors pushed into a corner on the counter top to make room for a bread maker, coffee maker, can opener, and several rows of canisters and cookie jars. There were pots and pans, stacks of clean and dirty dishes, bottles of water and juice, bags of pasta, loaves of bread, an opened and half used carton of eggs, and various other kitchen items that should have been stored in the refrigerator or in the cabinets, had they not already been stuffed to the point where the doors were standing half open, unable to close.

"I want to build more cabinets here where the little kitchen table stands. Then I can get rid of the table and chairs and eat off the top of the new cabinet"

I am thinking that really all she needs to do is get rid of stuff.

She rambled on for almost an hour before she got to the part that involved me in her impossible dream of making her space habitable.

She could only point to the area where I was to work as there was no way of getting there, physically. She then, stepping gingerly sideways, took me into her bedroom and the adjoining tiny bathroom where there was not even room to change one's mind. Again, her idea was to change the colour on the wall to give the illusion of space.

I was beside myself and could stay silent no longer. I told her in as nice a way as possible, that there was no way anything could be done in her suite the way things were at the moment. I blurted out that she simply had to get rid of a lot of her stuff.

"The best and most effective way of giving the illusion of space is to actually make space", I stated in the most professional voice I could muster.

"How about mirrors?" she countered.

"I'm sorry, but that will just make it look like you have twice as much stuff. In fact, I cannot do what you want me to do here until there is room to at least get to the walls."

She seemed a bit sad and hesitant. She then told me she was from Quebec and there she had nothing so all her things meant so much to her.

But then she perked up and started thinking out loud about who she could give this to and where that could go.

My morning was getting eaten up so I excused myself and asked her to call me back when she got rid of at least 1/2 of her clutter.

She thanked me profusely for the advice and seemed actually excited about the new challenge ahead of her.

Yes, she did call me back and it seems she wants me to come to do the work in mid February.

I will get back to you on just how well this went. In the meanwhile, I am going to have to lose some weight just to get in there again!