Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Health. Show all posts

Friday, February 7, 2025

Beyond Walking


     The "big three" that determine one's health in life are genetics, diet, and lifestyle. 

     My great grandfather and grandfather lived to ages very close to 100. My own father lived to 92 but neglected his health when my mother passed away, and could have gone on longer had he cared. So my genetics are good insofar as what I inherited from my father's side. 

     My diet has had variety, and on the whole consisted of basic food with wholesome ingredients and has been mostly home cooked and home baked. I avoid between meals snacks and certainly never eat before bedtime. 

     My weight has been steady all my life with the exception of adding about 10 - 15 extra pounds since my mid-sixties. I am 6' 2" and 195 lbs. My work involved light to moderate activity throughout the day, always moving, stretching, light lifting, and a lot of climbing of stairs and ladders. 

     When I turned 68, I began to slow down in my work, only working part-time. Those days when I did not work, I walked at least 5-6 thousand steps. It was when I stopped working altogether, I realized that I had to have a plan of action. 'Not moving' was not an option. We downsized into a condo and one of the benefits of the place we chose was that there was a gym right down the hallway from our suite. 

     I determined to be in there at least 5 days a week and, so far, I have been consistent and have actually enjoyed it. Besides a light workout with weights, I either walk the tread mill or ride the stationary bike. My goal is still 6000 steps per day. (Today I did nearly 7000) 

     Putting a step counting app on my phone has been a great benefit. It prompts me, encourages me, and tells me in no uncertain terms that I have either attained my daily goal or I am x number of steps short. So far I have walked, since 2021, 3671 miles. 

    I purchased an E-bike in 2022 and use it during the spring, summer and winter, adding to the exercise. I generally ride from 25 - 40 Km. per outing. 

   Why am I writing about this now? I am about to undertake a big step in my attainment of a healthy lifestyle and diet. I certainly do not want to live forever, but the years that I do have left, I want to be pain free at the least. I am developing some aches and pains that various types of therapy are not touching. My extensive research into the diet I am about to undertake, informs me that mostly, my pain is from various types of inflammation, and that can be remedied. 

     I am preparing to become a Carnivore. By preparing, I mean that I am cleaning my cupboards, fridge and freezer of all carbohydrates and sugars. I am not wasteful so I will eat it all (not all at once) and then make way for the meat, eggs and cheese. 

    As a step counter motivates me to continue walking, I thought that tracking and reporting my progress with the new diet, on this blog, would motivate me to be vigilant, observant, and would help me to track my progress, with the hope that I would be helped by the diet and that, in turn, might encourage others to give it a try. 

    I will write regular reports under the label "Carnivore". I am not sure exactly when I will be starting but it will be this month for sure. I am nervous and excited. I am a disciplined person and usually stick to what I start. It will be most interesting for reasons I will divulge in my reports. I think I will go have a cookie now. 


 

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

My Bump Got Bumped

      In March of this year, I noticed a bulge on my lower abdomen and suspected I had a hernia. It did not surprise me because I had been coughing for three months since I picked up that terrible virus that was going around last Christmas. (Indeed, my doctor told me this was not uncommon.)
 
     I made an appointment to see my GP and it was about three weeks until he would see me. He confirmed that I indeed had "a good one" and made an appointment for me to see a surgeon.
 
      Three months later, I finally got to have an interview with the surgeon and because I convinced him I was symptomatic, he put me on a rush list, scheduling me for surgery in Sept. instead of December, which is what I was told it would probably be. Symptomatic meant that I had discomfort walking long distances and my digestion was not right.
 
      Today was the big day. I had a surgery time, I was on my pre-op fast, and I was ready to get this thing done. At 10:00 am the phone rings and the hospital tells me that there had been an emergency surgery required and all of the good doctor's operating room time had been used up on this emergency plus one other hernia operation.
They would call later in the day if there was a chance I could still get in. So, my fast continued and I drank no liquids, until around 3:30 pm when they called and said I would be re-scheduled for a later date.
 
      A few calls later and now I am on for Sept 30th. I am disappointed but not upset, and this really surprised the surgeon's secretary who was prepared for a blast, something she almost always gets when this happens.
 
       Life happens and if I was the one needing emergency surgery, I would have appreciated someone giving up their spot for me. I know one has no choice in the matter, but maybe that is why I am OK with it. It is really out of my control, unless I go to a private clinic. But with only 3 more weeks to go, I think I will wait it out again.   
        

Friday, July 10, 2015

White Coat Syndrome

 
I was at the Allergy Doctor's the other day and soon the allergies became a secondary issue. As is routine, my blood pressure was taken and the nurse was alarmed, but not as much as I was when she told me what the reading was. I was somewhat prepared for this as it happens whenever I go to the doctor. Think about it. Why does one go to the doctor if not for the reason of discussing health issues that may or may not be serious at my age. It is natural for even that small amount of anxiety to raise one's blood pressure.
My family doctor does not even test my blood pressure any more because he knows this. Besides he also knows that I test it regularly at home with my state of the art blood pressure monitor.
This was not good enough for the allergy doctor (Doctor of Internal Medicine) so he prescribed a 24 hour monitor to be worn by me right during the hot days of June. Every twenty minutes it squeezed me. At night it was every hour on the hour.
I was more than glad to say good-bye to it the next day, and more than glad to hear that my blood pressure is more or less normal. The nurse was a little reluctant to eat the crow that I tried to serve up.
As for the allergies, well, that will be posted another day.

Friday, March 27, 2015

'Best Before Date'

 
As I took my truck in to get it serviced the other day, I was grateful that it was still in such great shape, and everything was working so wonderfully. However, it still needed maintenance, and its regular check-up.
 
How much like a vehicle we are. Most of us are born with a reasonably healthy body and the latest technology to help that body function. (liver, kidneys, stomach, glands and other organs) OK, here is where the analogy breaks down. Vehicles have ever improving technology built on board, whereas, our bodies have amazing technology that has been around forever and it never changes. Back to the metaphor.
 
My truck needs regular fuel-up and oil changes and we could call that proper nutrition. As the vehicle ages, new brakes, a muffler, some gaskets or filters, together with belts and hoses will need replacing. Fluids are vital to proper functioning, as are our bodies. But, as more time goes by, what happens are what we call major breakdowns which translate to expensive repairs or maybe scrapping of the vehicle or at least trading it in for a newer model.
 
These thoughts were going through my head as I marched from one doctor to another, the x-ray clinic to the blood clinic, and the eye doctor to the allergist. I have reached my 'best before date' and some semi-major maintenance and repair is required. As wonderful as the human body is, it does wear out. We can neglect or ignore the signs of a breakdown, or we can be preventative or proactive when there are danger signals. If we are not, a catastrophic event could be in our future.
 
Apart from the usual blood work that is requested with a physical check-up, I also went to the clinic armed with a requisition for an x-ray to determine the extent of wear and tear on one of my knees. The two clinics are in the same building so I got the imaging done first. The bio-medical lab, where they take the blood sample, was just upstairs, so I took a number and prepared myself for a 45 minute wait. I was 10 minutes away when I began to read the requisition for the blood work. What I did not realise, or perhaps had forgotten, was that one of the tests was a glucose test, meaning that I was required to fast for at least 10 hours before giving a blood sample. The waiting room is very crowded and there is nothing to do but observe other people and see how slowly the numbers are coming up. So how do I exit gracefully, or in such a way as to save face?
I began looking at my watch frequently, while checking the electronic number read-out on the wall. I began to look and act impatient, and finally in a huff, got up and walked out. Why did I do that? I suppose I did not want anyone to see that my mental faculties are also wearing out. We get very creative when we are covering up for our deficiencies.
 
This morning (after my fast), I was checking in at the counter of a different blood clinic (there is that effort to creatively cover-up again) and was asked if I wanted to register with the service and receive my test results on-line. "Yes", say I, and after being told that I could register at the .com address on the form, I told her she would need my e-mail address. Duh! These clinics are frequented by mostly middle and old aged folks so she did not miss a beat. She probably thought, "Oh boy, another one."    

Monday, October 27, 2014

Double Ouch!

 
One week ago I began to suffer a sever gout attack. I have been taking steps to relieve the pain and swelling and also making lifestyle changes in order to prevent future attacks. Prior to this incident, I had three occurrences that I thought were bad. It kept me off my feet for a few days and felt like shingles or a sever ingrown toenail.
When this recent attack hit, the pain started to build and much surpassed anything I had previously encountered. The pain and swelling in my right foot precluded any walking or going up and down stairs. When I did walk, it was very gingerly on my heel and on the right side of my foot.
Now having hobbled around for 7 days in this unbalanced and unnatural way, I have developed a really good (bad) back ache. It has made me forget about my foot, for sure. Today, when I concentrated on the state of my foot, I was pleased to note that the swelling is down, the redness is much less, and I can almost walk normally.
I was so anxious to try going back to work today. I promised myself if I could get my shoes on, which I could not yesterday, I was going to spend a few hours on the job. Now I cannot even bend over to attempt the shoe placement.
Ah, yes. The process of growing old is hitting me hard. The recovery times are longer, and getting back to where I once was is only a pipe dream.


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Shock and Outrage

 
There was a headline that caught my eye on my internet news page, this morning, that has since been removed. It is the discovery of the remains of 7 dead babies in the garage of a home in Utah. Apparently, the woman vacated the house and her estranged husband was cleaning out the garage when he found a dead baby in a box. Upon calling the authorities, they discovered six more young bodies. Yes, this is horrific and the reaction of the news announcers on the CBC clip were appropriate, as you can see here.
 
I was wondering if these women announcers were pro-life or pro-choice in their stance on the abortion issue. As I did a quick internet search for an appropriate image for my blog post, I was sickened and horrified at the images I found and could not look for more that a few seconds, but quickly found the above image and got out of there.
 
There is no difference between seven dead babies in a garage and 20 dead babies in the garbage can at an abortion clinic except for the number and the age of the babies. And yet this daily occurrence does not seem to shock too many. This murderous practice has been sanitized by its proponents with twists of the English language and most people are immune to what is really going on.
 
If the woman from Utah had aborted her babies shortly before their birth, there would no repercussions and no news headlines. But she chose to let the children go to full term and now she is a murderer.
 
Our society is sick!
 

Friday, March 14, 2014

Been Sick

 
Spring is coming, or so they say, and with it comes allergies. I can run in a field of daisies, snort raw grass pollen, and tickle my nose with Ragweed and nothing happens. But one little stroll anywhere near a Birch or Alder tree in late Feb. or early March, and I am caught in a fit of sneezes bad enough to blow my brains out.
And so, I thought it was the allergy season for me, about two weeks late this year, when I came home from a walk in the woods on Monday and started blasting everything in sight. I was sure it was not a cold because there was no sore throat, cough, or headache. Until later that evening.
I am now four days into a fierce head cold and have been laying low, very low. Today I turned the corner and seem to have re-gained my will to live, which had abandoned me completely just yesterday. Is it my imagination or is it more difficult now, with the years accumulating, to handle a bit of infirmity? I do not get under the weather often, but when I do it seems to sap the strength and energy and zest, and just about everything else out of my life. Am I getting a glimpse of the reasoning that the elderly have that when they reach the end and get sick, they lose the will to live? I may be exaggerating a bit when I say that it happened to me, but it was a new feeling, though faint. Even when the sun was out yesterday for a few minutes, I could not have cared less. This is not normal for me. But it is only a cold, and with a few box of tissues and a whole lot of Dristan, hot tea, Vit C, etc., etc., I will soon be done with it.
 
And that little cartoon at the top of this post ..... that was totally me for two days.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Garlic and Other Things

 
It is not news to anyone that we live in the age of information. This is a good thing, overall, but recently a saying has arisen, 'TMI' which means "too much information". You will hear this when someone reveals some intimate details about their health or other very personal information.
I am going so far as to say that this is starting to apply, for me, for almost everything else too. We are all familiar with 'the most recent studies suggest that', only to realise that the most recent study totally refutes the last study on the same subject. I am sure you recall the butter vs. margarine debate, the egg and cholesterol controversy, the 8 glasses of water vs. over hydration theory, and many others, too numerous to mention.
We find this in politics also. The burn the garbage vs. put it in the landfill dilemma, is Harper the best or the worst Prime minister ever, do we pay down national debt or do deficit financing to fund programs, and on and on.
No matter what the issue, when one goes to Google for information and research, one will find contradicting articles, studies, and opinions on virtually every subject. Where is the truth in all of this? And are we seeking truth or are we trying to simply bolster our own already firmly held conviction on the matter. I find myself doing the latter all to often.
This, of course, makes the researcher skeptical about the information he or she is receiving. Take the latest two studies on the efficacy of Vitamin  D, Vitamin C, Echinacea, and Garlic, and their supposed positive effect on health issues such as colds and other common human ailments. The studies say that there is little or no value in taking these supplements. Because I beg to differ, I am suspect of these so called studies. Who is behind them and what is their agenda? The drug companies? Just saying.
As for the four substances mentioned above, I can only go by what they have done for me. I have nothing to say about Echinacea, but as for Vitamin D: My mild skin condition is held in check by the sun light I expose myself to, and D in supplement form in the winter months. I know this for a proven fact through trial and error. Vitamin C and garlic: C taken with raw garlic cloves, early enough in the first stage of a cold, there is either a cure or at worst, the symptoms are very mild and will last only three or four days as opposed to seven to ten days. But, that is just me. It may or may not work for you.
Am I skeptical when I read the latest studies on home cold remedies? You bet. But no more so than when I read any other study, poll, or news report about anything. Everyone has an agenda these days, but I will think for myself, thank you very much.
 
**For only US$29.95 I will send you my own formula of Vit C/garlic combination in easy to take capsule form, as a preventative or to nip that coming cold in the bud. Shipping and handling included.
 
Just kidding. I have no agenda on this blog other than to vent. If you are naïve enough to send me money, you will simply be improving the lifestyle of this new 'senior'. The 'package' will be lost in the mail, I guarantee.  

Monday, August 19, 2013

Crown Him With Many Crowns

 
I am sitting on the beach of Osoyoos Lake as this post is being published, wondering where I am going to get the money to pay the huge dental bill I racked up last week. Yes, I had another crown installed. I thought it was finally the last one, but my dentist told me there was one more. That is what he told me last time, and the time before. Eventually it will be true because there will no more teeth to crown. Or will there? The oldest ones will need replacing by then, I am sure.
 
I am afraid to tally the amount of money I have spent on dental work in the last 8 to ten years. I am at the age where the old teeth are in need of repair, and if I do not do them now, I will go into old age with poor teeth and many problems that accompany poor teeth. I can still handle the discomfort and the expense, something that will get more intolerable as the years go by. I am sure the total is more that $20,000.00 
 
I have to trust the skill and workmanship of my dentist so I do not have to go through this again. So far, I am pleased with what he has done. Not one of his restorations has caused me pain or any kind of problem. I can eat what I want, my teeth are no longer sensitive to hot and cold, and I am rid of that poisonous mercury amalgam that plagued my mouth.
 
But, a dental plan sure would have been helpful!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Dental Work

 
I was at my dentist yesterday getting a regular check-up, cleaning, and examination. I have issues.
 
It started when the x-ray machine came out and the heavy lead shield was draped over my upper body. I noticed that something was new and improved. The shield was larger and had a very high 'turtle neck' that came right up under my chin.
 
I found a few YouTube videos regarding dental x-rays and the dental associations claim that there is less radiation than ever with the new digital x-rays and the exposure to radiation is similar to being in the sun for a few hours for a week or taking a cross country airliner flight, and is very safe!  
 
If this is the case, then why the lead shield? Not only that, but why does the dental technician run out of the room each time she snaps a pic? Why is there not a shield for my brain. (Don't laugh, I apparently do have one.)
 
Apparently new studies have shown that if you have dental x-rays more than once every two to three years, you have a good chance of developing small brain tumours called Meningioma that are precursors to brain cancer.
 
But that is just my first issue. I refused fluoride and was made to feel like I was paranoid. I did not do it because of fear of this toxin, but because I have a gag reflex similar to aspartame when it goes in my mouth. I think my body just recognizes what is poison and warns me.
 
Another issue is the ability of the dentist to discover minute pockets of decay with his hand held device, x-rays, and his brutal little poker, the kind that my mom told me to never put in my mouth when I was a kid. He found 5 of these tiny things this time and he wants to drill and fill each and every one of them for the low, low price of $1200.00!
 
And that brings me to the final beef, and that is the cost of dentistry overall. It is assumed that the patient is on a dental plan so anything goes. I, being self-employed and now semi-retired,  am not on a plan so I pay every cent myself from my after tax dollars. The conversation in the elevator down from my appointment was interesting. A middle aged lady was complaining about having to pay $25 for her newly cleaned teeth. Obviously, she was on a plan. My invoice for the very same thing was $231.00!  

Sunday, June 30, 2013

The Old Hedley Road

 
In my last post, I expressed a desire to get back to 'normal'. I am beginning to feel that today. The last month has been both a trial and a blessing as we watched my dad pass away, and at the same time experience tremendous support from friends and family.
 
Just before my dad took a turn for the worse, busylizzy and I took an impromptu trip to the interior. The above photo was one I took on the Old Hedley Road as we detoured of off  the # 3 Highway eastbound.
 
We may be heading that way again in the next few days as we resurrect an old family tradition, that of taking a day trip to Keromeos for cherries in early July. It is not only a great little distraction from the everyday routine, but this time there are health reasons.
I mentioned a while back that I, for the first time in my life, was having an attack of gout. To mitigate the symptoms and their accompanying pain, I doubled my efforts to keep well hydrated and I began to eat cherries, twice a day. Since I have been doing that, I have not had any further attacks and the gout has completely disappeared. We will bring home enough cherries to eat fresh for many days, but also to can, in order to keep healthy during the winter months when cherries are not in fresh supply.
 
I feel so fortunate that cherries are one of my favourite fruits, so in this case, taking the medicine will be all pleasure. And did I mention, it is a great opportunity to indulge in cherry pie!

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Yikes, This is Painful!

Again, due to subject matter, there is no photo. It would be ugly.

So, I am merrily working away today, and about 3 pm I felt a bit of discomfort in my big toe on my right foot. It soon reached the point where I could not ignore it. By 4:30 I was limping. By 5:00 I was fit to be tied. I was afraid to take off my shoe because of what I might find, you know, gangrene, flesh eating disease, or worse.

I really felt like my toe had been crushed by a huge rock. I could barely walk and on the commute home I was having a difficult time applying the brake with my right foot. When I examined my toe with my shoe off, which was an ordeal in itself, I could find no evidence of an ingrown toenail or any other type of infection or injury, but my toe was red, swollen, and extremely painful.

After an accurate self diagnosis and a bit of internet research, I discovered that I have now officially entered the domain of the aged. I thought it would be when I was sixty five and got my first pension check, which I have not yet received even though I have been sixty five for 38 days now. No, it is the day you get your first bout of gout. If this isn't gone by morning, I am going to have to sharpen my axe. The pain of a self inflicted amputation would pale in comparison to what I am enduring at this moment. I will definitely be sleeping with my foot hanging outside of the covers tonight.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Reaching .... Again

 
This is not me, nor are these my hands or arms. But this is what I am now able to do.
 
As promised, though a day late, I am reporting in, regarding my recovery. On Monday I only worked a few hours to test the new found mobility I had in my right arm. It went well so I put in a full 8 hours yesterday. I reached, stretched, lifted, and did all the normal things I used to be able to do, and am pleased to report that I am again able to do what is required in my work to please my customers as well as stay off of disability pay. In fact, I have never taken disability pay. Ever. Nor Employment Insurance, accident insurance, nor any other type of social safety net income. Proud? Fortunate?
 
Both!

Monday, December 17, 2012

Back in the Saddle

 
Once again I disappoint. This is not me. But it does demonstrate the range of motion I now have in my arm, the one that I could not lift higher than my waist just a few days ago. I am going back to work today, lifting, reaching, and all the other things I have to do with my arms. I will report back tomorrow.
Come to think of it, I actually do resemble the guy in the photo ... except maybe for the short hair and the tattoo.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Injured

 
I know it is difficult to believe, but this is not a photo of  me. Only a likeness, and for illustrative purposes only. After you get over your disappointment, I will tell you what is going on with me. I know you care deeply.
 
How often have you heard that getting old sucks? Here is an example. When we are young, we pull or tear muscles when we are doing extreme sports or working very hard, physically. When we are old, we pull and tear muscles when we pick up our grandchildren and plop them onto our lap. That is the only thing I can imagine that is causing all this pain in my right arm.
I could hardly get dressed yesterday morning. I phoned two clients and cancelled my work for the day. Actually, indefinitely. I can barely move. Ice, and lots of Ibuprofen are only putting a dent in the discomfort. No sleep the night before as there was NO position that did not hurt.
I am lying low until I can lift my arm higher than my waist. Typing is almost impossible, so, goodbye.  Am thanking God that I am left handed.  
 
 

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Itching For ....

 
It is Sunday morning, mid November, cold, raining, dark, and I am itching for a sunny destination. Literally. The Vitamin D supplements are not kicking in like they should, and my winter skin condition is flaring up. There is only one really good solution and that is soaking up a lot of sun.
I am obsessing on this thought every evening when my body begins to slow down for the night ahead and the natural defenses are not revved up like they are during the day. Each day it gets a little worse. The steroid cream only works on the 'bad spots' if I apply it three times a day, but I do not want to walk around all day slathered in cream from head to foot. Besides, excessive use weakens the skin and probably makes the condition worse in the long term.
I really know what it is like to "itch for something".  For me it is Mexico, or Hawaii, or the Maldives, or the Cook Islands, or Barbados, or Florida, or .......

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Allergy Culprits

When I was in my early thirties, about the time my allergies first came along, I heard that you can outgrow allergies. Every eight years or so, your metabolism etc. changes enough that it is like starting over again. Let's clear it up right now that this is a myth. I waited patiently for 8 years, with great anticipation, for the allergies to go away. Thirty years later, what has happened is that they have increased in intensity.



I look forward to spending more time outside in the early spring, but that is exactly the time that the Birch and Alder trees throw off these da**ed little dangley things that are just bursting with prickly clouds of pollen, waiting for me to breathe them up my nose and collect them in the corners of my eyes.


It hit me with a vengeance this week. The thing is, I can be out in it for hours and it does not bother me, and then when I get home and settle down to a book or some other task, it hits. Itchy eyes and sneezing, sometimes ten or twelve times in a row. The season was delayed this year due to cold, wet weather, and if the warm season comes on strong, the pollen producing season will be short lived. At least, that is what I am hoping for.  

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Cold ... Part 2

Snowfall on Feb.29  2012


And on the fifth day, God created ...... no, that's not what I was going to write. On the fifth day, I awoke from a really good night's sleep with a clear head and clear sinuses. I have never had a cold without going through those awful final stages of coughing and ever thickening phlegm. It was gone! Completely! How can this be? Is it a miracle or is it all the 'stuff' I take to keep healthy? Maybe the latest elixir is working its magic. It is supposed to relieve oxidative stress and actually reverse the aging process. My grandson got over his cold in four days too, and he is only three. Maybe I am now only three also!  Hey .... I must go look in the mirror to see if it is true.

Cold


It has been about five years since I have had a cold or the flu, but what I think happens, is that every time you come in contact with a virus, but it does not 'get you', it accumulates, and then when you get it, you get it good! As I wrote this, I was in my fourth day and my cold had not yet peaked. I am not over the hump. It has not broken. I am still in that stage where there is constant sneezing, watering eyes, plugged sinuses, headache, and mouth breathing at night. This is not pretty to write about, but I know you have all been there. Normally, a cold runs a five or six day cycle with me, but at this rate, I may be better in the fall of 2013, about the time I will be due for another one.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Fountain of Youth?

Reflections in Fish Trap Creek

By the time this post is published, I expect to be back at work. The last few days have been a drag and although I should feel rested and rejuvenated from a bit of time off, I am feeling rather punk. I do not know if it is psychological or physical, but I am finding it difficult to drum up any energy at all. I am trying out a new miracle herbal remedy that is supposed to make me feel energetic and allow me to sleep more soundly at night. I am giving it the recommended three month trial, but after reading various testimonials, I was expecting some results by now (one week).

I look in the mirror in the morning expecting to see a twenty year old, any day now. I want the sagging skin to tighten up a bit, the hair to darken, and the urine to flow like Niagara Falls. I was hoping that the aches and pains in the joints would disappear, and that my chest would rise up out of my drawers. I fully expect to toss the progressive lenses, and maybe even grow new teeth. (Take that, you dentists!) But, instead, what do I see? Actually, not much, because my eyes are failing. What's that you say? Speak up, I'm getting hard of hearing.