Monday, December 19, 2011

Is This The Way It Works?

Fish skeletons, feathers, or grass?

Our members of parliament were pressed for time and could no longer change their own light bulbs. After much debate in the House of Commons, it was decided to form a parliamentary committee to look into the matter. A report was written a few months later and as a result of a private member's bill, a person was hired to actually change the light bulbs in each of the offices of all of the MPs. This man's salary was determined by fair wage policies put forth in previous legislation and was set at $56,000.00 per annum. The time of the parliamentarians was now freed up to do the work of government. The LBC (light bulb changer) was required to join the Canadian Union of Public Employees and then was required to be protected from job hazards, yet to be determined.
A safety committee was struck to look into such things as ladder heights, the toxicity of various types of light bulbs and the danger of light glare in the eyes. A permanent position was created to oversee the LBC's tasks in terms of safety because every situation was different and the LBC was not technically qualified to assess each situation. Because there was now a payroll for this job, an accountant was hired as well as a supervisor to oversee the LBC, the safety technician, and the accountant. The LCB was allowed, under his contract, three weeks paid vacation so a replacement had to be hired, but had to be trained first. The LCB then received a salary bonus as a specialty trainer. Together with a newly acquired secretary, the LCB drew up a draft for a training manual, and had it published in both official languages, after having had it edited for political correctness and gender bias. Of course, it stated quite clearly that the assistant LBC had to be a female of colour to meet the requirements of equal opportunity. With this many employees in the newly created LBC department, an oversight committee was formed, who were directly responsible to the under secretary of  the assistant to the deputy minister in charge of maintenance of the Parliament Buildings. 
And then came the downturn in the economy.
Every ministry and every department was required to cut costs in order to meet new budget requirements. Each and every department was required to report on exactly what they had done to keep expenses down, and indeed actually cut costs. The deputy minister in charge of Parliamentary building maintenance was absolutely proud as he announced that they had reduced their direct expenses by $56,000.00 for the fiscal year. They had fired the LBC. 
The LBC department remained intact in order to lessen the impact on the job figures, but the MPs now change their own light bulbs. After all, they should suffer in a downturn like the rest of us Canadians.    

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