Thursday, December 22, 2011

It's Greek To Me




Our business this year was down substantially, but being the President and Chief Executive Officer of my company, I decided that the down turn would not prevent me from treating those near and dear to me to a company dinner. Being a democratic boss, I let the underlings decide the venue and "spare no cost", said I.
It was a local popular Greek restaurant that was thusly graced with our appearance last evening.
Surrounded by Greek ambiance and excellent culinary fare, we did due diligence in regards to the Income Tax Act that states that an entertainment tax write off must concern business. To meet the requirements, there was much talk of business matters, both past, present and future, and the guests at the table were treated to a few speeches, regarding business, of course.
I, as president and CEO, gave an annual report on trends, goals, and some motivational pep talk. The chief financial officer (me) then gave a report which amounted to an excuse why nobody was getting a raise and that they should be grateful they got lamb chops. The chief estimator (me) then gave a report as to why he was not able to wrestle more business in tough economic times, which amounted to telling the audience why he is not inclined to excessive aggressiveness. The chief purchasing agent (me) then gave a litany of price increases on supplies and urged the CEO to build these into his prices so they could be passed on to the customers, to which the CEO replied that he could not do that in order to stay competitive. "Suck it up and just be more efficient" was becoming a theme. The bookkeeper (me) gave a detailed breakdown on where the money was going, and it became evident that the government was getting most of it, leaving very little for such things as Tim Horton's coffee and utility bills.  
When the journeyman lead hand asked if he could procure a new paint brush, the Chief Financial officer handed him a roll of Duct Tape and told him to make it last one more year.
All in all, it was an exercise in 'belt tightening', until the President bought everyone a round of desert, whereupon we reached under our over sized bellies and actually loosened our belts. We left the restaurant feeling a little confused.     

2 comments:

Ian said...

Terry, I think your corporate management team needs to spend a bit more time in team-building. You should get thee hence to a suitable environment conducive to developing mission statements, corporate business plans, human resource development plans, and of course strategic marketing plans. Just one warning - corporate retreats are best done in a warm, sunny atmosphere.

Terry said...

This is an excellent idea! Poolside business meetings with Pina Colada in hand would make an excellent tax write-off. As for the funds for such a venture, I could always delay the year end HST payement.